if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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