You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
