Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
