Your dad touched me again.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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