Can Purell be used as lube?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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