There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize