the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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