The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
