That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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