hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dicks are not precious.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
