FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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