Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize