Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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