you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
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Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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