i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
porn star boner night. come get it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
