dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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