I got chris browned last night
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
