Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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