they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
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Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
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Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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