We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
