Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
