yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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