When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
