Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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