Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
