fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
