did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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