Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
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That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
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I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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