its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
