THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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