Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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