Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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