is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
