Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
