thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
