Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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