i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
