Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
