one might say we're banned from that church
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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