Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There r osticjed everywhere
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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