y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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