weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize