hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize