No subtext here. People are naked.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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