I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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