If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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