In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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