We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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