I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
