So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
