I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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