I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
