I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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