I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize