Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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